And this is the most true fear of love,
That one will fall, and the other shall stand above.

Just the ring.
Day in and day out.
My landscape changes.
The birds go by. A train passes.
I see them chirp. But no chirp sounds.
I feel the rumble on the tracks.
But no whistle blows.

Life passes me.
Vibrant, beautiful life.
The sweet smell of wild flowers.
The cool drops of rain on my skin.
The color red.
Life passes me in a surreal pictograph.
Always accompanied by the ring.
Always incomplete.

Sometimes when we talk,
I think the pitch of the ring changes,
And I wonder if I’ve heard you.
If sound is real.
If it’s not some idea dangled before me.
A cruel joke from the world, that everyone is in on.
I feel myself cry from the warmth of my tears on my skin.
From the taste of salt on my lips.
But as I sit there, Alone and crying,
All I hear is the ring.

You see me day in and day out.
And everyday is the same.
You say hello like I was your friend.
You wave and ask how I am.
And all the while we sit and talk about how,
George went missing.
And before George, Frank, and Susan.
You've never questioned why I never had dinner.
You never asked if the grass was greener on the
side I was from.

Deep down you know though.
I know you know, and it makes me
chuckle silently when no one is around.
You fear me, and indeed you should.
But you do nothing. You need me.
I keep the children in line.
I keep the flock together,
and I keep the gossip flowing.
And the best part is,
I'm one of you....unless I'm hungry.

This is nice. It feels so simple. and how things should be.

Jason Mraz & Colbie CaillatLucky

So I had an extremely vivid dream last night. As says the side effects listing of my chantix. It was odd. It started out of me driving down the road. Then I saw friends of mine that were a couple getting off on an exit. However. They weren't really driving. They were standing up and scooting forward like that one type of short film where someone takes a pic. Then you step forward. Then they take another pic. And there was lights in front of them. But no headlights. weird right?

Anycase, I followed them off the exit. I guess I had no where better to go. And then the area around me started getting more rural. More and more trees and so on. And I could no longer see my friends Driving/scooting in front of me. Also, it was now like I was in the back seat watching me drive. And I could no longer see the road..only the back of my head. But, I still had control of my car.

Then things got a little bumpy and there were more and more trees. And Then I got that Funny feeling in my stomach. You know the one you get when you go over a big hump in the road. Except it was a little longer. So it was more like the one you get when you are going on a roller coaster. And that is when I realized that I'd driven myself off a cliff cause I couldn't see where I was going cause my own head. But the feeling was exciting. Even though in my dream I knew this was it. And I remember thinking. This is gonna be a good story if I live.

When I was sposed to hit the ground I work up. I'll be honest I was a little shakin up. But then I lied there and started thinking. You know. That wouldn't be such a bad way to go. I think when I'm old, and have some terminal disease, and am about to go. I'm going to write my will, then I'm going to go get a really nice and fast rental car. And I'm going to speed over a cliff. Maybe I'll get lucky and find a cliff that has a nice incline so I can get some real airtime. Of course, knowing my lucky. We'll have flying cars by then and it wouldn't really do me any good. hmm Well much love to all. Bye now.

Sammul

We got pulled over on the way home today. Josh didn't use a turn signal. I got patted down by a damn hot cop. I'm glad my first patted down experience was a good one. ^__^ lol much love!

Sammul

I look around with eyes wide shut,
within this darkness of alone.

I meander down my twilight path,
comforted in my solitude.

No one to harm,
within this darkness of alone.

This drug I am is hidden here.
This want and need that people see.
This addiction that is my soul.

Wrapped within this darkness of alone.
You are safe from me.

A child's eyes holds no lies. For
A child's eyes cry for the lies, before the fall.
A child's eyes cry for the Shadows on the wall.

A lie.
A war.
A weapon.

A child's eyes cry for the Shadows on the wall.

Words.
Anger.
Revenge.

A child's eyes cry for Little Boy's fall.
A child's eyes cry for the Shadows on the wall.

So I was thinking about humanity today. Well not really humanity, but about myself. But after the thought I realized that I was thinking about humanity. It occurred to me, and I've had this thought before, that all of us has the potential to be what anyone else is. I was thinking, "What stopped me from being what Hitler was?" What has? What emotions did he have that I don't? What thoughts did he have that I couldn't? We all, after all, have those little dark thoughts that flick across the imagination. We would never admit to them. But we have them.

So what is it that makes us different. Its not even the experiences we've had. Because though my experience may be completely different then someone else's; they can stimulate the same thoughts and emotions. It comes down, I think, to how we deal with our situations that make us different. It comes down to whom we blame and how we fix our problems.

I've come to believe that we all have the potential to be anyone else on the planet. We all share from the same pool of emotions. What can you feel that I can't? I hate, you hate. I love, you love. I'm jealous, you're jealous. I pity, you pity. And so on and so on. What are you that I'm not? What are you that I can't be, given the same circumstances? I think that humanity as a whole is really just one person. And that each individual is just a different side of that person. It's like how different friends bring out different sides of who you are. You're serious with one, wild with another. Different events in life bring out different sides of humanity. We are one and not at the same time. Think about that the next time you decide to judge another. Remember that that could be you, were you in their shoes.

Sam

Were you there?
I thought I felt you there.
Maybe I didn't... maybe I imagined you.
That's it. I imagined you...
But I felt you there.

I was looking.. I remember looking.
And then you were there..
Or I thought you were there.
Cause I looked... and there was no you.
But I felt you there.

But you can't be imagined.
Maybe a dream. . That's it. A dream.
You must be a dream. . . . no.
A dream is not real. You are no dream.
I felt you there.

You were there. I know you were.
Whether you know, I know not.
A mystery that you were there and somewhere.
A paradox. An Enigma. A question never answered.
You were there. I know you were.
I felt you there. . . Were you there?

It's raining. I love the rain. Its cool dripping dropping on my skin.
The smell..so fresh, so clean. I breath with a renewed vigor that comes
from the cleansed air. (inhale, exhale) I do so love the rain.

Ahhhh yes.. well the rain. You see Rain comes from when land water is Heated and vaporized. This water "vapor" then..cond...ence.... .. clouds...pres.....

Wow, that is such a beautiful flower. It's so intricate. So soft.
Look how bold the color is. And its smell. So sweet. It is such
a beautiful flower.

Ahhhh yes.. well that flower. You see that flower has certain pigments that
when light reflects....color... smell...nect...ar.... bees...polle...

(sigh)

Oh my. Those mountains. Look how...

Ahhhh yes.. well those mountains were...

SHUT UP! Can't I just feel. Can't I just see. Can't I just admire,
adore, be in awe.

No..

Why not?

It's the Cage of Association. Why else. You can't see without knowing.
You can't feel without thinking.

I don't want to think. I want to experience life. I want to look at the sunset without
thinking why it sets. I want to look at the stars and dream.

Why would anyone want to be so ignorant? If you have knowledge you improve yourself and your surroundings. You are safe with knowledge. If you know, you don't fear.

I WANT to fear! I want to be scared of what I have! I want to be scared to lose it! I want to be able to cherish it for every moment until I do! I don't want to know how things can turn out! I don't want to know what's around the corner! I want to wonder! I want to fear! I want to guess! I want to Hope! We are Jaded by knowledge!

...

Hey guys. I was just writing this to let yall know that I'm going to be off the scene for a while. I'm prolly not gonna be answering my phone. I'll still be online. And I'll still post stuff prolly from time time. But I'm just not really gonna be around. So..bye now. Take care of ur self till I get things figured out.

Sammul

You live, You love, You learn.
If you are missing one of these you are missing out on life.

If you live without loving or learning. Your doomed to live an unhappy life,
full of mistakes you keep making.

If you love without learning or living. You'll lead a jealous life, a life
that grows dull and ultimately lonely.

If you learn without living or loving. Your life will be an irony. One talked
about and mourned.

Live. Experience life in its fullest. Try new things. Or try old things that have failed
using new material and the flawless guide of hindsight.

Love. Love those around you. Because they are precious. Because they need loving. Because in
loving you grow.

Learn. Don't keep making the same mistakes. Right the mistakes you have made, and create
a new path.

Live, Love, and learn.

Would It be too gay if I said that the Beautiful music video by Christina Aguilera let me know it was ok.? Just a thought.

Sammul

Sup everyone! Going to the lake tomorrow. gonna have fun....yep. Not a whole lots been going on lately. Went to the fair...had some fun. Went to work...didn't have fun..then left early and did. Oh on a side note. I did make myself look like an ass when Josh was talking to his boss. His boss was talking about going through hard times but kinda joking like. And josh asked him what happened. Well I only saw one bandaged on his wrist ( he had to) And I blurted out suicide without thinkin.....it was....and I felt like an ass. ... ... Again. But thats the story of my life I guess. hmmmm Also, I pet a pig today. It kept trying to rut on my foot. And not rut like sex rut but like oik oik rut with his nose. It was neat. well. Much love to all.

Sammul

Sam is bored......BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD........ jUST A LITTLE....

MUCH LOVE,
SAMMUL

P.S. JOSH BOUGHT ME SOME GREYGOOSE FOR ME AINT THAT AWSOME MWAHHHH

Ya for fair. Damn the carnies though. They suck you into those games. Its not my fault...really. I mean. it is a little. but not really. can't blame a man for an addiction. Love you guys I had a blast. JENNI! k. much love

Sammul

P.s. I won a frog...and a penguin...kinda.

So i've talked it out. All better now. :) much love to all.

Sammul

I had a surreal moment today. It reminded me of one of those random sence of nothing that you see in underproduced movies.